^{Well as life would have it, my trip to Hawaii did not go as I had hoped. We all know life is not perfect, and I am not about to pretend that it is. Not even in Honolulu. I apologize in advance for my blog, because instead of my usual happy, amazing and beautiful blogs, this one has a bit of a sharp edge. I didn’t think it was possible to be in hell in paradise, but guess what? It is. Personal relationship problems got the best of me on marathon day. My fiancé decided to have an argument race morning. Don’t worry, I cleared it with David before posting because everyone loves David, yes even me. Upon waking, he had been holding back some frustrations and decided to tell me about them as soon as I woke up at 4am. I sat on the floor crying, trying to put my happy quote and dedication post on facebook. It was awful. We set out to the start of the race and there were some beautiful fireworks and I tried to make the best out of it. My issue with David is a bit personal so I won’t go into too much detail. However, upon arriving at our hotel and finding out our room had separate beds and no other rooms available did not help things, if you know what I mean. The race starts and it’s time to run, but I didn’t want to. All I could do was walk. I wasn’t smiling because my enthusiasm and spirit was on the floor. David wanted to video me, but I didn’t want to be filmed. In fact even when I saw the race photographers I hid my bib number because I didn’t want any pictures taken. This is so not like me. I figured that maybe by mile 18 I would be smiling again. Not so much.} I did however see the Walking Diva herself, Yolanda Holder. She broke her Guinness World record of 107 marathons that day. Amazing. Here is her post from Hawaii Today. Congratulations Yolanda. You are my hero. She understood what I was dealing with and told me it was normal. Imagine for Yolanda 2 marathons a week, sometimes 3 even 4 and how hard that can be on all aspects of life. She is Amazing! http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/20307047/yolanda-holder-breaks-world-record-at-honolulu-marathon ^{I finally broke into another smile at mile 23. It took me 10 minutes to find someone who spoke English who would take a picture of me and text it to me, but I got my picture with the 37K sign and that made me happy. I don’t have very many opportunities to run marathons with Kilometers, so I had to seize the moment. 37K, 37th marathons get it? By the way, I have never seen so many people taking pictures in a marathon. The marathon is sponsored by JAL airlines. So with New York being cancelled it turned out to be the second largest marathon in the United States this year. At miles 4 and 5 up Diamond Head, it was a bit frustrating because even if I wanted to run, I couldn’t. It was a gridlock. The marathon is 50% Japanese. They were taking pictures of everything, every sign, the pretzels, the water stops, the water signs, the views, the bathrooms, you name it and they were taking a picture. The winner of the marathon, Kipsang received cheers and applause from competitors still tackling the marathon. They stopped and took pictures of Kipsang with their computers and smart phones. However, they were not taking a picture of me, cause I wasn’t smiling, but that’s ok. As for me, well David killed the Marathon Goddess lol, or at least my spirit for the time being. I kept thinking about Curt, the beautiful man I dedicated my run to. I played rocknroll roll music for us, whenever I thought about Curt I smiled but I think Curt understood what I was going through and most likely would have kicked David’s butt if he knew David made me cry. Curt was very protective of his family, so I totally felt like he had my back. I know he did. Thank you Curt. We Rocked it! For my dedication to Curt please see the blog titled:} https://marathongoddess.com/2012/12/number-37-running-in-heaven-with-curt-wada/ ^{It ended up being a beautiful day. Sometimes in my marathons, a dark thought may come up for a split second about giving up and walking off the course, that happened to me at about mile 13, and I could have sworn I heard a loud voice yelling NO WAY. I feel like that was Curt. I kept going. Walking, running and just moving forward and before I knew it I was at mile 26 and ready to finish. I finished with a smile, but inside I was still a little sad. So I threw David in the ocean. lol I was grateful to KITV for helping me spread awareness for my campaign, of course I couldn’t think and forget to mention my website. I blame David. lol.} Actually KITV did a great job with my story and mentioned my website and the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. I am very grateful to them. What an honor. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/honolulu-marathon-impacts-local-economy-034141768.html Here is a major hero: Congratulations to 71 year old Myeloma Patient Don Wright for reaching his goal of Running a marathon in all 50 states, and a link to his press release: http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20121210005415/en/Tackle-Cancer-Foundation-Congratulates-71-Year-Old-Myeloma-Patient ^{Bart Yasso, chief running officer of Runners World Magazine, made a great point, when running marathons in Hawaii, no matter how bad your marathon went, when you are finished you are in Paradise, so it can’t be that bad and it really wasn’t. I know we will find the silver lining through all of this. I may find it in my glass of wine that I am drinking. It is really ok. David and I sort of made up and are working on things. We ended up having a nice day on Monday before we left, we went down to Waikiki beach and enjoyed the last bit of paradise and made the best out of it. This journey is not about me and sometimes life will hit me hard with a rude awakening. Life is short so please enjoy it. Enjoy your friends, your family and keep the love alive, that is all that matters. Part of my mission has always been to spread the message of getting out there and living your life, and becoming the person you were meant to be. With pancreatic cancer looming and being the 4th leading cause of cancer death and estimated to go up to the 2nd in the US, in addition to living life, my mission is to save lives. Save lives, so that we may go on to living and loving longer. I am here for people like my father, for Curt, for so many others and their families affected and some so young, like Curt. He was only 48. There is no reason why this man should have died so young. This is not acceptable, and I am here to change that. I will do everything in my power, everything, while still managing to have some fun along the way. Aloha ‘oe, a hui hou aku. (until we meet again) We got this! Aloha!!!!}